


I'll Save You

by Yume_no_Mikoto



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, hello this is sad but it will get better I PROMISE, small hints of Im Jaebum/Jackson Wang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-10-18 05:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yume_no_Mikoto/pseuds/Yume_no_Mikoto
Summary: Yugyeom dies in an accident and everyone grieves, most especially Jinyoung....but is he really dead?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Persona 5 for this one, but it's not the story or even the characters, this isn't even a Persona AU (though that would be an interesting concept)... I was inspired by the news that the protagonist hears at the beginning of the game, then a whole idea came out of it haha it was so random.
> 
> Also, I'm just putting this up as a standalone fic for now since I don't know when I'm actually going to be able to update this as I'm going to be very busy this coming month but! I am planning on making a whole story out of this, so if you liked it there will be more of it~
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Comments, constructive criticisms and/or corrections are appreciated! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to help Jinyoung because they’re friends, everyone wants to help him because they care. They want Jinyoung to get better, to move on…
> 
> …but Jinyoung doesn’t need that. He would never want to move on.

“I… I have to save him,” he mutters so softly it could barely be heard.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks back to see Jaebeom’s face contorted by sadness and pity. He didn’t need that right now, what he needed to was to get back to work.

“Jinyoung you can’t… it’s over. We can’t do anything so please…” Jaebeom tells him.

He was met with silence, Jaebeom sighs.

“Everyone’s worried. Bambam and Youngjae wanted to come with but I told them it would be better if I went here alone, Mark has been texting and calling you nonstop but you’ve never replied, Jackson was even planning to leave his business trip early just so he could see you.”

His eyes were earnest and it seems like he does want to help. He wants to help Jinyoung because they’re friends, everyone wants to help him because they care. They want Jinyoung to get better, to move on…

…but Jinyoung doesn’t need that. He would never want to move on.

“You can leave now, Jaebeom-hyung.”

“Jinyoung—”

“Just go.” He swats away the hand on his shoulder, his eyes never leaving the table filled with blueprints and diagrams that only he could understand.

When Jaebeom doesn’t make a move to leave, Jinyoung turns around and shoves him.

“Go away.” His voice was level but his eyes betrayed the anger bubbling from inside.

The older man seems conflicted but after a beat, he starts to move to the door, Jinyoung’s eyes following him as he goes.

He stops at the door, seemingly wanting to say something, but he decides against it and promptly leaves.

Jinyoung immediately crumples to the ground, tears filling his eyes, a scream struggling to tear out of his mouth.

_Breaking news. A subway train derails in… Police seem to think the accident was due to… The number of casualties is currently unknown but there have been 10 confirmed victims…. a flower shop owner named…_

_… the last one to be identified was a college student from… University named Kim Yugyeom._

He wraps his arms around himself as he tries to steady his breath.

You couldn’t have known Jinyoung, he was always safe whenever he rode the train to get to your place.

_It wasn’t your fault._

_You couldn’t have known…_

**_You killed my son._ **

He runs a hand through his hair, his other hand wiping the tears that were still falling from his eyes.

_Jinyoungie, you always keep to yourself. That’s not healthy, you know._

“You were always here… I didn’t need anyone else,” he whispers to himself.

_It sucks how you’re a genius and you’re pretty, while I’m a dumbass and I can’t even get a stupid date for stupid Valentine’s._

“Y-you’re not dumb… and I wanted you to be my Valentine.”

_You keep calling me a brat but you like me, don’t deny it Jinyoungie._

“I do… I like you, you were—are everything to me.”

_I… uh… I like you Jinyoung… hyung. I think I’m in love with you._

“I love you too…”

_You don’t have to say anything! I know it’s strange, you probably have someone in mind but I just… it’s weird, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything._

“I don’t want to forget,” he mutters to himself, using the table in front of him to help him stand.

He looks at the different papers scattered on the table and his eyes immediately zone in on the picture he has of him and Yugyeom. It was taken here at his home, Yugyeom had suddenly wrapped an arm around his shoulder and took the photo with his other hand.

Yugyeom had mustard-colored hair at the time, it was a ridiculous color but he was still beautiful to Jinyoung, not that he had ever said it to the other man. The next day Yugyeom came back with two printed versions of the photo.

One for you and one for my wallet, he told him.

He runs a finger to the younger man’s face and he feels emotion well up inside him once more. He feels the tears start to come yet again but he wills himself to stop.

“I’ll bring you back,” he tells the photo of the smiling boy.

“I have to. I didn’t get to tell you what I actually feel.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom is worried.  
> It’s been two months since he’s heard from Jinyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I found some time and so I updated this former one shot~
> 
> I wanted to update this really bad because I honestly wanted to share what I'm planning for this story, I hope I didn't scare you away from it with the really sad chapter 1... it will get good I promise!
> 
> As usual, comments/constructive criticism/corrections are appreciated!  
> Enjoy! :)

Jaebeom is worried.

He’s always worried about his friends, it’s kind of his job to be the worrier of the group but… this is completely different.

It’s been two months since he’s heard from Jinyoung.

Every single one of his friends has tried to reach out to him, call him, go to his place, but no one has succeeded. Jaebeom used to know the passcode to his apartment but he’s apparently changed it in the days that he didn’t come by.

It worries him.

Jinyoung was always a homebody but he never closed himself off from his friends, he was always welcoming even if he was busy with one project or another. Since their last conversation though, since the last time that he came by to talk to him, Jinyoung hasn’t responded to anyone.

Jaebeom doesn’t want to think that something horrible has happened, something horrible has already happened to one of their friends. He’s already lost their maknae… he doesn’t want to lose his best friend as well.

He was at home, thinking of what to eat for dinner when he hears knocking on his door. He quickly walks to the door saying, “Wait a minute.”

Jaebeom opens it to see Jackson’s tear-streaked face, running at him full speed and burying his face on his chest.

“J-Jackson?” he asks, bewildered.

Said man embraces him and buries his head deeper in his chest, almost as if he wants to burrow himself into his sternum. Jaebeom moves an arm to close the door, his other arm wrapping around the shorter man’s shoulders. Now that he’s calmed from the surprise that is his friend bodily throwing himself at him, he can feel the other man slightly tremble against him.

Jaebeom whispers, “Jackson-ah, what’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to think the worst has come. He doesn’t want to think that another one of them is hurt. He can’t bear the thought of losing another one of his friends, he doesn’t want to lose the people that matter in his life anymore.

Those thoughts are not welcome in his brain and he immediately tries to push them at the back of his mind.

Jaebeom hears Jackson take a deep breath before he mumbles out, “I tried to call Jinyoung tonight and I… I swear I heard his voice. I’m scared that I-I’m going insane.”

“What? Whose voice?”

Jackson doesn’t answer him and he’s scared by just how upset he is. His friend didn’t call him, didn’t even warn him that he was coming. He ran straight here shaking and crying as he is now.

“Jaebeom… I…” he stops himself, moving his head enough so that his red-rimmed eyes are staring into his own. “Hyung… I’m not insane, right? I’m not going crazy, right?”

Jackson called him hyung, Jackson’s never called him hyung unless it’s a joke. It’s here that Jaebeom realizes just how frightened the other man really is.

Jaebeom shakes his head. “You might be a little weird sometimes but you’re not crazy Jackson.”

The brunette cracks a small smile before burying his head in Jaebeom’s chest again.

“…I’m not insane. It was… I’m not insane.”

He managed to maneuver them both to his living room couch, sitting Jackson down and running to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.

Once both boys have settled, Jackson takes a quiet sip of water and Jaebeom is trying his hardest not to drill him with questions.

The shorter man looks to Jaebeom and sighs. “I… I’m sorry I got hysterical on you Jaebeom-ah. It’s just… it was scary, you know?”

“Well, I wouldn’t really know until you tell me what happened?” he adds a lilt at the end of the sentence as if he’s asking him a question.

Jackson nods and purses his lip. He takes a look around Jaebeom’s apartment and takes another sip of water. The slightly older man is starting to think he’s not going to talk and it’s a little grating on his nerves.

Jaebeom was never known to be a patient man, especially if it’s something that’s concerning his friends.

“I…” Jackson pauses, placing the glass on the coffee table, and wrings his hands on his lap. “Can you call the other guys here? I think… I think I want everyone to hear what happened.”

He raises an eyebrow at this. “I could,” he tells him, “but are you sure? You were freaking out not five minutes ago.”

He nods. “They… they need to hear what I have to say.”

Jaebeom looks up at the clock, it’s half-past eight, knowing his friends they’re all probably awake. The good thing is he doesn’t need to call all of them since the younger ones live together.

“Alright. I’ll call them.” He stands and pats around his pockets for his phone.

He doesn’t know why but he chose to call them outside his balcony, as far from Jackson as possible.

Instincts?

Maybe fear that he’ll panic again?

Jaebeom isn’t sure, but he’ll do as he’s told if it makes Jackson feel better. It would never sit well with him if any of his friends act like he did tonight. Having not to hide information to any of the other boys is just an added bonus to that.

The phone rings only once before he hears a tired but still chipper voice. “Hey hyung, what’s up?”

Bambam used to just sound hyper and happy any time of day but since Yugyeom… he gradually sounded more tired as time went on. He still tries to sound joyful whenever he talks to them and Jaebeom worries. The Thai native is their youngest now, and so he wants to protect him as much as he can.

“Hey Bammie, you doing okay?”

“As good as any day,” the other man replies, “I’m a little tired since I’m working on an essay but I’m chill.”

He’s… doing homework? That’s strange, he never does homework. “So, you’re finally taking college seriously?”

Bambam snorts so loud it almost sounded like it hurt. “Ha. Funny hyung, you know I’m just gonna pay Youngjae-hyung to write this for me. I just thought it would be nice to give him a head start.”

That sounded more like him. “You should really do your own homework Bam—”

“Anyway,” he cuts Jaebeom off, “What’s up? What’re you calling for?”

“Rude little shit,” he grumbles and earns a faint chuckle from the other.

“Yes, I’m very aware. Can you please tell me why are you calling?”

“I’m not allowed to call?”

“I mean I’m not against the producer extraordinaire Def. calling me but you’re more of a texting person.”

He sighs, Bambam is always straight to the point.

“Come to my place and take Youngjae with you. Jackson wants to talk to everyone.”

That seemed to perk up the younger man as he sounds like he’s moving around on the other line. “Oh shit, did something happen?”

Jaebeom thinks he didn’t sound distressed but he guesses it is strange for him to call so suddenly like this, and the younger man had always a sixth sense for things going wrong. He was perceptive when he wanted to be.

It means there’s no point in lying to him. “Yeah, but he wants to talk with everyone here.”

“Alright hyung, we’re on the way.”

The line cuts there.

Just as he’s looking for Mark’s number on his phone, it rings and the man he’s looking for is calling him. He has impeccable timing.

“Mark,” he answers.

The other man sounds a little out of breath and he thinks he hears a car engine starting. “Jaebeom, Jackson called me, what’s the emergency?”

That was… admittedly surprising. “He called you?”

Jaebeom peeks through the glass window and he sees Jackson sitting on the couch wrapped in a wool blanket. Huh, he didn’t know he had wool blankets in the apartment.

Any other day, seeing Jackson so bundled up would be cute but that troubled look on his face breaks Jaebeom’s heart more than anything.

He doesn’t know why but he knows Mark nodded. “He sounded a lot like he just finished crying and he said to come to your place, what’s going on?”

Jaebeom’s not even surprised that Mark could tell that Jackson was crying, they were friends before any of them were. He thinks he should be jealous but he’s mostly just impressed.

“He wants to talk about something.” He bites his lip, contemplating if he should share this to him. Mark is Jackson’s best friend, he shouldn’t keep things from the other man.

“Jackson came to me terrified hyung.” The formality slipping out even if he hasn’t called Mark hyung in years—maybe Jackson’s not the only one freaking out. “He said he called Jinyoung and that he heard someone’s voice. He wouldn’t tell me who it was but he kept asking me if he was going crazy.”

“You don’t think…” Mark pauses and he hears a car horn on the other line.

Jaebeom doesn’t need to hear what the older man is going to say next to understand who he means. “That’s impossible. Yugyeom’s…”

He stops himself.

He can’t say it.

It’s been two months and he still can’t say it.

“I guess we’ll just hear it from Jackson then,” Mark breaks the silence.

“I’ll meet you here hyung,” Jaebeom replies.

“Yeah, see you in fifteen minutes.”

He scrolls through his contacts one last time and stops at Jinyoung’s name.

Jinyoung would be worried if anything happened to Jackson. A lot of their friends say that he gets overprotective around them but he thinks Jinyoung is just as bad or maybe even a little worse.

Jackson said that he tried to call Jinyoung when he heard a voice.

He thinks of calling Jinyoung, telling him that something happened to their Chinese friend. Jaebeom thinks of all the times that he called his best friend over the past two months and receiving nothing but dead air.

The only time he had answered someone’s call and they panic over a voice. Would it really be wise to call?

Jaebeom types out a message to him.

**To: Park Jinyoung**

**\---- 8:56 PM**

**Something’s happened to Jackson. He wants to see everyone, we’re at my apartment. Respond if you see this.**

He walks back inside and Jackson is there sitting on the couch, the television is on and it looks like some sort of anime is playing. Nora is sitting on top of his lap and purring quietly, Jaebeom’s thankful that she kept him company even though he knows how much the cat hates other people. The other man notices him come in and he gives him a small smile.

Jaebeom sits down next to him and Jackson immediately scoots closer to rest his head on his shoulder. Nora meows at him for disturbing her position and jumps away, clearly annoyed. He looks down to see him stare after the cat with a chuckle.

He unconsciously smiles. “I didn’t know you like anime.”

Jackson shakes his head. “I needed noise… it was too quiet, Nora didn’t even make sounds. I just…”

“It’s okay.” Jaebeom interrupts. “You don’t have to explain to me, I get it.”

The pink-haired protagonist on the show is suddenly talking about friendship being his most powerful weapon and for some reason, a raven-haired man who seems to be his friend, is suddenly in his underwear.

He hears Jackson chuckle. “This is a weird show.”

“It is.”

“Yugyeom would have liked it,” Jackson quietly says, and Jaebeom nods.

“He’s probably already seen it.”

“I… yeah.”

Silence falls between them, the only real sound is the fight scene currently happening on the show.

He wants to say something comforting, something to get their mind off the fact that their youngest friend is…

“Everyone will be here soon,” he tells him instead and he hears the other man sigh.

“Stay with me until then?” Jackson asks.

_I can stay with you for as long as you want me to._

 Jaebeom wraps an arm across his shoulder. “Of course.”

 

 

\----

 

 

All three boys come around the same time, surprising since Mark lives much closer to him than the other two, but he is carrying a plastic bag on each hand.

Mark sees Jaebeom eyeing the bags and he says, “Figured none of you have eaten yet, so I thought I’d bring some takeout.”

“Where’s Jackson?” Bambam asks, his voice nonchalant but his eyes look quite the opposite.

Jaebeom nods over the couch. “He’s watching anime by the couch.”

Bambam nods and runs past him, Youngjae hot on his heels.

He’s about to thank the older man and move to let him in when he hears a loud, “Jackson-hyung!” and what sounds like a pile of bodies falling on the floor.

Jaebeom sighs and he hears Mark giggle.

“Wanna help me fix dinner?” the older man asks.

He can hear chuckles from the living room and a bit of weight is lifted from his shoulders.

“Sure.”

They laid the food on the coffee table and everyone sat around it. The three older boys on the couch, and the younger two on the carpet.

They all had small talk, Bambam talks about hanging out with more of his university friends, Youngjae mentions getting his driver’s license and thinking about asking his parents to buy a car, Mark being so busy at work that he hasn’t played video games at all, Jaebeom also shared a bit about his job as a producer and the current singer that he’s working with for their new album.

Jackson didn’t open up much—which is very different from his usual self, though Jaebeom understands why—but he did ask questions and laughed along when the others were making jokes. He kept looking off to the unoccupied spaces by the television and the other man knows why he’s doing so.

It’s nice that most of his friends are okay, that they’ve been doing relatively well in school and work.

…but Jaebeom can’t help thinking what Jinyoung is doing right now.

If he’s eating properly.

If he’s left his apartment any time the last two months.

If he’s taking care of himself.

If he’s stopped trying and is moving on from what happened.

Jaebeom hopes that’s the case… but in his heart he doubts it. He checks his phone and there are no notifications, his message hasn’t even been read.

He sighs.

After everything gets cleared out and all of them have settled down with some tea, Jackson cuddles next to Mark and the older man settles his unoccupied hand to Jackson’s hair.

“I… I called Jinyoung today,” Jackson suddenly tells them.

It immediately sparks everyone’s attention, Mark hums as if to tell him to continue and he does.

“And I… the call got through. I was so happy, you know? We’ve all been trying to contact him all this time. I was so glad and I was asking him all these things because I was so worried for him but then…” he stops, eyes welling up.

Mark runs his hand through his brown hair and Bambam moves a little closer to rest his head on Jackson’s knee, his own silent way of comforting him.

“W-what happened, hyung?” Youngjae asks, his eyes both fearful and concerned.

Jackson buries his head on Mark’s side. “I heard… I heard Yugyeom’s voice, he said hello to me.”

Everyone was quiet, Jaebeom saw the two younger boys stiffen with the mention of their former roommate. Mark still looks calm and is continuing to run his hand through Jackson’s hair.

“I…” Jackson continues, “I thought it was his voicemail or something because it’s crazy, it’s crazy to think that Yugyeom could answer because…” he stops himself. Jaebeom understands why.

He’s not the only one who can’t say it, none of them can.

“B-but then he said to me, Jackson-hyung? Are you okay? and I just… I hung up and I cried.” Everyone hears him take a sharp breath but no one comments on it. “I kept thinking I was going insane. I just visited the cemetery a week ago, I even put out flowers but he’s… it’s insane for me to think he answered but he did and it’s just…”

Silence falls on the room once more, save for the soft sniffles coming from Jackson who has stopped talking altogether.

Jaebeom and Mark were right, there was no other scenario for him to act as he did. Jaebeom kind of wishes he was wrong.

Everyone was clearly in shock, not really knowing how to process this kind of information. Yugyeom was… gone, he has been for two months.

They all attended the funeral, they all cried, they all did their speeches, Jaebeom witnessed Yugyeom’s mother yelling at Jinyoung to bring him back, Jackson was crying on his shoulder the whole time while his own tears fell, Youngjae was bawling his eyes out on Mark who brought his entire family, and Bambam was talking to the gravestone, furious and melancholic at the same time.

He remembers that day like it was yesterday. He has nightmares of that day, a constant reminder that one of the people he’s loved is gone, that he’d never be able to touch them, to see them smile, to talk to them ever again.

And now… this happens.

It’s easy to say that Jackson is delusional, that he probably misses Yugyeom so much that he hears him on the phone. It would be so easy to tell him that it was probably because he’s stressed at work and worried about Jinyoung that his brain thought of Yugyeom.

It wouldn’t be difficult, but Jaebeom doesn’t think that it’s a delusion. It would be senseless for him to even think that this is real but he believes it actually happened. He wishes he could give a better explanation why he thinks so, his gut just tells him that Jackson’s believable.

Anyway, if anyone is to the point of delusions, to the point of going insane enough to hear Yugyeom’s voice on his phone—except for Jinyoung, it should be Jaebeom.

He’s harbored enough sadness and pain from losing the young man that he’s been drinking a lot more. Jaebeom’s been sleeping so little hours because all he thinks about are his last days with the maknae of their little friend group, thinking about how he’s failed him as a friend, as an older brother. If he’s not thinking about him, it’s his extreme guilt of not being able to take care of his best friend that keeps him up at night. Jaebeom thinks about how much he’s failed Jinyoung as a friend, how he’s failed to help the one person Yugyeom really cares about.

“So…” Bambam pipes up, breaking the silence, “you’re telling me… that my best friend is alive?”

Jaebeom was so lost in thought he didn’t even notice that the young man was standing.

Jackson doesn’t say anything and Mark is glaring at Bambam, silently telling him to not start.

“I… I went to his funeral, hyung. I fucking cried for weeks because of that shit,” the young man is trying to keep his voice level but Jaebeom can actually see him shaking.

This isn’t good. He moves to calm him down. “Bam—”

His hardened eyes move from Jackson to him in an instant.

“No!” he spits, “Fucking no! You weren’t there to pack up his shit, Jaebeom! You weren’t there to tell all his teachers and friends that he was never coming back! You weren't yelled at by his mother for not protecting him enough! You weren't called the worst influence on him! You can’t tell me to calm the fuck down when Jackson’s telling me that he thinks he heard my best friend from his phone?”

Youngjae also stands and tries to reach out to the fuming white-haired man.

“Bammie, let’s keep an open mind here,” he mutters.

Bambam scoffs, “Open mind? Really? Let’s just believe that Jackson isn’t being delusional because he’s our friend guys!” he mocks, and Jaebeom notices that Jackson is burrowing himself deeper on Mark’s side.

“Bambam, seriously. Calm down. Now.” Jaebeom glares at him but it seems to have no effect.

He shakes his head. “I was worried because of you… but this is some delusional bullshit that I don’t need to hear. I’m…” Bambam takes a deep breath and glares back at Jaebeom.

“I can’t believe that I have to say this but he’s… my best friend… Yugyeom is dead.”

Everyone flinches at the word, even Bambam himself.

Nevertheless, he pushes on, “It’s because he’s gone that Jinyoung’s fucked up, that I can’t stay in the apartment alone for less than twenty minutes, that Youngjae tried to get a driver’s license so he’d never have to ride the train, that Mark hasn’t played video games for the past two months, that Jaebeom texts all the time asking if we’re okay, and that Jackson thinks he heard him on the phone.”

Bambam collapses on his knees and Youngjae runs to him, hugging him from behind.

“Bambam…” he whispers quietly.

“You’re lying to yourself, hyung,” he mumbles and Jaebeom was about to retaliate but then he hears him softly continue, “And you’re lying to me. I’m tired of it… Gyeommie’s… please just…”

Bambam doesn’t cry, but Youngjae cries enough for him.

Jackson slowly moves out of Mark’s grip, kneels in front of the younger man, and embraces him as well.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he whispers, his arms tightening around him.

Bambam’s own arms snake around Jackson’s waist and he tucks his head into the crook of the older man’s neck.

“I’m so tired hyung. Everyone keeps telling me he’s around, that he’ll always be there as long as I remember him… but those are lies.”

Jackson rubs a hand on his back, his tear-stained eyes looking at Jaebeom and Mark, silently telling them to join their impromptu cuddle pile. Mark works around to hug Bambam and Youngjae’s side and Jaebeom wraps an arm on Jackson’s waist and runs a hand through the Thai boy’s silver locks.

“I miss him so much. I want him to just show up again so bad, but he’s gone. He left me. Yugyeom’s gone forever and I can’t… I can never get him back.” Bambam gasps, his face still hidden from view.

Jackson hums. “I… I know. I miss him too, we all do. I’m sorry you were hurt Bammie, please don’t cry.”

The younger man shakes his head. “I-I’m sorry hyung. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, you're not the one I'm angry with. I’m sure it was a scary experience… hearing Gyeom’s voice like that.”

“It was… but it’s okay now. You’re right, I was probably just stressed and delusional.” Jaebeom looked at Jackson, unbelieving that he meant anything that was coming out of his mouth. His features didn’t give away anything but his grip on Bambam got slightly tighter.

“I think… I think it’s time everyone went home,” Mark interjects as he stands, “Everyone’s emotionally tired and we could all use the rest, don’t you agree?” he pointedly looks at Jaebeom.

He nods. “Right… it is getting a little late, you kids have school tomorrow.”

Bambam scoffs. “It’s uni, hyung. My classes are in the afternoon.”

“Still…”

The silver-haired boy detaches himself from Jackson, his eyes shiny and slightly red.

“Alright,” Mark says, “I’m taking you three home, move your asses.”

“Markie, I drove here.”

“You’re not driving like that Jacks,” Mark teases, pointing out Jackson’s disheveled look.

“It’s okay, I can just call security later and tell them that it’s mine so you won’t get fined,” Jaebeom pipes up, garnering a small smile from Jackson.

He leads them all to the front door, giving Jackson and Youngjae some tissues to wipe their equally wet faces on the way. Jaebeom waves them all goodbye, clapping both Mark and Bambam on the shoulder as they leave.

Just as he’s about to go back inside, he feels his arm being pulled and when he turns, he gets an armful of Jackson.

“I’m sorry, and thanks for everything Jaebeommie.”

He hopes his face isn’t as red as he thinks it is. “I… it’s okay Jackson, don’t mention it.”

Jackson waves him goodbye as he runs after the other three, already looking a little better.

He wishes he could’ve talked to him more, maybe they could’ve tested out what would happen if they called Jinyoung’s number again. He doesn’t think Jackson had a delusion or some sort of hallucination, and he knows Jackson doesn’t think so either.

Jaebeom sighs. Well, it’s over and done with, maybe it would be better if he just left it alone.

Bambam had a point. Yugyeom’s gone, he shouldn't be trying to cling onto hope that it’s going to change anytime soon.

 

He cleans up after his friends, showers, changes to sweatpants and a sweater, opens a bottle of beer, and stalks off to his home studio to try and get some work done.

Jaebeom spins on his desk chair, head deep in thought about some lyrics that he could use for the new track he’s making when he has a strange urge to check the time. He fishes out his phone from his pocket and turns it on to see that he has a message notification.

Curious, he unlocks his phone and he sees that… it’s from Jinyoung.

 

**From: Park Jinyoung**

**\---- 10:04 PM**

**Hyung, what happened? Is he gonna be okay?**

**I’m sorry we can’t be there, please please please hug Jackson-hyung for me :(**

**I love you guys a lot. Stay safe.**

**-Yugyeom-**

He reads and rereads the message, trying to see if he read it wrong or if it’s a glitch. He closes his message app and reopens it to see the same message still with the same content. Jaebeom takes a screenshot, exits out of the application and looks at the picture and the same message is still there. The same words, the same name at the bottom.

His hand starts to shake so much that his phone falls from his hand and onto the carpet floor.

“W-w-w-what the fuck?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He must be going mad, Jaebeom thinks that it’s the only viable explanation.  
> “What am I gonna do?” he asks no one in particular, “What am I supposed to do?”

Jaebeom didn’t sleep that night, he couldn’t bring himself to. His mind was thinking about the message he received over and over. He was honestly so freaked out by it that he threw his phone in the nearest drawer and walked out of his studio.

Currently, he’s in bed and staring at the ceiling. Jaebeom’s mind is thinking that this is just a nightmare, that he’s scaring himself into thinking that things like this would happen in real life.

Because things like this don’t happen in real life… right?

He must be dreaming… right?

Jaebeom moves a hand to pinch himself on the ribs, he winces and everything still looks exactly as it was.

Of course, this was reality.

This was Jaebeom’s reality.

He starts to think that it might be a practical joke but immediately dismisses the thought, even getting frustrated with himself for even thinking about it. Jaebeom knows that Jinyoung wouldn’t pull a prank like that on him, especially using Yugyeom’s name and texting mannerisms as that message did. Jinyoung would never trample on Yugyeom’s memory like that.

It’s insane that this happened right after Jackson came up to him, telling everyone that he heard Yugyeom’s voice when he called Jinyoung.

He must be going mad, Jaebeom thinks that it’s the only viable explanation.

He doesn’t know how long he was laying there motionless but soon enough the sun rose, he can feel the rays touching the left side of his body, subtly reminding him that he forgot to close the curtains.

Jaebeom blinks, the light reaching his face.

“What am I gonna do?” he asks no one in particular, “What am I supposed to do?”

Faintly, he hears his phone blare the default alarm tone from the studio. It must mean that it’s seven in the morning.

It means that he has to move and continue being a normal human being.

He thinks about what he has to do for the day and mentally lists them off in his head.

Gym. Shower. Breakfast. Work. Meetings. Lunch. Work. Meetings. Work.

Jaebeom moves to crawl under the duvet, covering his head. After ten minutes, he hears his alarm yet again.

He chooses to ignore it. He chooses to ignore everything.

 

\---

 

Jaebeom is shaken awake and he tries to tighten the covers around him.

The shaking doesn’t stop.

“Go away,” he groans.

He hears whoever it is huff. “Get up,” a man who sounds a lot like Mark insists, “You didn’t go to work and your boss called me.”

Jaebeom fumbles with the covers so he could look at the other man’s face. Mark is wearing a suit, and it disorients Jaebeom for a while until he remembers that Mark works at his parent’s company and he certainly wears suits there, not a solid color t-shirt and skinny jeans like he’s accustomed to.

Another thing he notices is his expression. Mark’s… frowning? Why would Mark look so troubled?

He wants to ask, he never likes his friends worrying.

“Mark..?” is all his still groggy brain lets him say.

It seems to work though as the older man cracks a small smile at him and nods.

“Yup, it’s me. You awake now?”

Jaebeom grunts as he sits himself up, a hand mussing through his black hair.

Mark sits by the edge of the bed, silently watching the other man rubbing his eyes and trying to energize himself.

“Why’re you here?” Jaebeom asks, though still a little garbled through his daze.

“Namjoon said you weren’t answering your phone,” Mark tells him, “He tried to call Jackson first but apparently Jackson’s phone wouldn’t even ring.”

Jaebeom looks up at this, all sleepiness has gone from his voice when he replies, “What? Is Jackson okay?”

The older man raises an eyebrow at him before he chuckles. Jaebeom doesn’t find it amusing at all, what if something bad happened to him?

Mark must notice how anxious he looks because he stops. “Don’t you worry lover boy, Jacks is fine. I visited him before you. Apparently, he just forgot to charge his phone.”

Jaebeom sighs in relief and Mark giggles.

“Man, you’re so whipped.”

“Shut up Mark,” he grumbles, and it makes the said man laugh harder.

After a while, silence falls in his room and he knows why. Jaebeom can see that Mark is trying to gauge him, quietly trying to read what’s going on without prodding him. The older man has always been like that, never wanting to intrude but always wanting to help.

He feels guilty. Mark probably rushed to his and Jackson’s house because he was worried about them.

“Anyway, I also tried to call you but you weren’t answering?” he phrases it as a question.

“I…” Jaebeom coughs to clear his suddenly dry throat. “I left my phone at the studio.”

“Oh.”

Jaebeom knows he wants him to continue, to explain himself. He should, he knows he should—

“Are you sick?” Marks asks.

His hands hold the duvet, grounding himself, trying not to feel bad that Mark is giving him an out. He knows the older man knows he’s not sick, he doesn’t look sick no matter how shit he feels on the inside.

He shakes his head.

Mark hums. He watches him take off his suit jacket and tie, laying them on the edge of his bed.

“Didn’t feel like working?”

_Didn’t feel like existing,_ Jaebeom wanted to say but he bites his lip.

He nods.

Mark rolls up the sleeve of his pristine white button-up, his gaze off to the darkened window—Jaebeom only notices now that it’s nighttime. “You’re okay?”

He’s… not. Jaebeom knows he’s not, not after seeing the message. He could never be okay after seeing something… something that would give him proof that his friend, his brother, Yugyeom might still be alive.

But he’s not alive, Jaebeom knows he’s not. His phone must be cursed, he must be cursed. It’s the only explanation, the only logical outcome.

“I…” Jaebeom looks down to his hands bunched up in the duvet, looks to the window showing him the city lights, looks to the folded-up suit jacket and tie, and he sighs.

“Yeah.”

He expected Mark to ask him what was wrong, expected him to pat him in the back and tell him that it’s okay, even expected him to call him out on his lie. What he didn’t expect was for Mark to lay down on his bed, breathing out an exhale and closing his eyes.

What was he doing?

“M-Mark?” he asks, very confused.

The older man doesn’t respond, keeping his breath even and it looked like he was on the brink of falling asleep half-laying on Jaebeom’s bed.

“Hey, Mark?” he tries again and this time Mark replies:

“How did we even get like this?”

Jaebeom scratches his head, still puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Everyone’s slowly moving away from each other. No one’s opened our group chat since Yugyeom, Jackson’s lying to me, you won’t tell me what’s wrong with you, Jinyoung won’t even speak to us… everyone’s changed so fast and I can’t keep up.”

Jaebeom’s heart lurches, and he watches Mark cover his eyes with an arm.

“It… it sucks that I feel like I don’t know any of you anymore.”

“Mark…”

“I thought that… I thought that if I stayed the same, if I just let you guys grieve on your own, we’d move back to how we were. I realized just how stupid that thought was when Bam broke down yesterday. And now that I’m actively trying it’s… I want to help but no one even wants me to help them. Not you, not Bambam, not Jinyoung, not even my best friend,” he continues.

“That’s not—”

“If you tell me right now that it’s not true, I’m gonna punch you in the face Jaebeom,” he says with such a serious tone that he immediately snaps his mouth shut.

The quiet in the room is tense, something he’s never had with the older man. Jaebeom always knew Mark as the tranquil one, the one who will always be levelheaded no matter the circumstance. He truly forgot that even this Mark, his hyung would have a breaking point. Jaebeom didn't even think about worrying about him because he was so preoccupied with trying to act normal, like nothing was going wrong.

He doesn’t want to believe it but Mark is right, they’re all slowly drifting apart and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Mark abruptly stands and picks his clothes up from the bed.

“I’m gonna go home,” he sighs, “you don’t need me, none of you do.”

Jaebeom silently watches him leave, suddenly tired again from hearing what the older man told him. Mark looks back at him and he smiles, confusing him once more.

“Get well soon Jaebeom.”

Jaebeom nods dumbly.

Before Mark could close the door to his room he says, “I’m sorry hyung.”

The older man shakes his head. “You’re not, you don't even know what you're sorry for.”

And he leaves.

The raven-haired man lies back down on the bed, staring back at his cream-colored ceiling.

A part of him wants to cry, wants to vent, wants to just let go… but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to. The tears don’t come, his frustrations don’t swallow him to the point of screaming—he’s just… lying on the bed, motionless.

“What do I do?” he asks again.

He tries to listen for something, anything to give him a hint, a reason, some sort of calling. All he hears is the wind, forever blowing outside his apartment window.

Jaebeom closes his eyes, trying to think of anything, when he harkens back to his last conversation with Jinyoung.

_I… I have to save him._

_“Jinyoung you can’t… it’s over. We can’t do anything so please…”_

_You can leave now, Jaebeom-hyung._

_“Jinyoung—”_

_Just go._

He immediately sits up, runs over to his studio and fishes out his phone. He opens the messaging app, ignores all of the unread messages until he finds Jinyoung’s name.

**From: Park Jinyoung**

**\---- 10:04 PM**

**Hyung, what happened? Is he gonna be okay?**

**I’m sorry we can’t be there, please please please hug Jackson-hyung for me :(**

**I love you guys a lot. Stay safe.**

**-Yugyeom-**

_I… I have to save him._

Jaebeom breathes hard, falling onto his knees and almost hitting his head on the drawer.

“D-Did he actually?” he mutters. “Jinyoung.”

He looks at the message one more time before he leans his head on the cabinet, trying to calm his breathing. He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes staring at his best friend's name.

_I… I have to save him._

“Did you actually save him?” he asks as if he’s talking to the man himself, “B-but that’s impossible… he was…”

He exits the app and runs through his contacts, immediately clicking Mark’s number.

“Hyung,” he says, voice determined, “I’m sorry but can you come back? I want to go to Jinyoung’s place, I want—I need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I updated this a lot earlier than expected but I've been pretty motivated to write lately, so yay!  
> Also, I'm not as busy as I thought I was gonna be--surprising since my time management skills are shit... anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, I'm getting to the really meaty parts soon and I hope you'll continue reading until then~
> 
> As usual, comments/constructive criticism/corrections are appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark deserves to know the truth. Or, at least, an explanation to this madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! I have returned to update this AU again! I'm sorry it took so long... I kept changing my mind on how I wanted to write it that it got really delayed lmao  
> Anyway, to the people who still want to read this~ Enjoy! Comments/constructive criticism/corrections are still welcome because I am the only one proofreading my work :D
> 
> PS: I changed how I spelled jb's name because apparently he spells it as "jaebeom" and not "jaebum" irl so yeah, I changed it to jaebeom just to be more accurate I guess lol

Jaebeom almost trips on Nora as he runs out of the studio, the cat grumpily meows at him and walks back to the kitchen.

Nora…right, he forgot to take care of his cat.

He follows the feline and sees that there’s already food in her bowl and her water has already been changed. Jaebeom walked to where her litterbox was and it was also cleaned.

“Who…” but before he could finish his question, he immediately thinks of the older man who visited him not too long ago.

_You don’t need me, none of you do._

It was probably Mark who cleaned up and fed his cat, he was the only one who came to check on Jaebeom. Also, Nora will never say no to people helping her out, especially if her own owner doesn’t even remember she existed during his brief crisis.

She probably likes Mark more than Jaebeom now, and he can’t help but feel the exact same way.

He stares at Nora who was taking a drink of her water.

“Was it Mark who took care of you?” he asks her.

Nora looks at Jaebeom, almost like she’s glaring at him, and completely ignores his question to go to another room in the apartment.

Jaebeom sighs. He must be really going insane if he really thought that Nora would respond to him.

He showers—not really because he wants to but mostly so he wouldn’t want to smell strange while riding Mark’s car—and changes to a hoodie and the first pair of jeans he saw.

He’s on the couch with his cat playing with the strings of his hoodie when he gets a message.

**From: Tuan Mark**

**\---- 11:32 PM**

**hey, i’m by the entrance of your building.**

**waiting for you here.**

**To: Tuan Mark**

**\---- 11:33 PM**

**Ok. I’ll be down in a sec.**

He subtly tries to pry the cat off him, muttering apologies as she meows at him and scampers off to his room. Jaebeom hopes that she won’t try to destroy anything in his room out of spite, though he can already see his room in even more disarray when he returns.

Well, in retrospect he does deserve it.

Mark’s car is parked on the curb and runs down to open the passenger side door and slips inside.

“Hey Mark, I’m really sorry for—”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Mark shakes his head and raises a hand.

“What are we doing Jaebeom-ah? I need to know before I take you anywhere.” Mark sounds serious, demanding even.

Jaebeom expected this. When he called the older man, he just said to meet him in front of his apartment building, he didn’t exactly agree or disagree to help him.

He stares at the road ahead, thinking about the ways he could explain his hunch to Mark without sounding like a deranged lunatic. Well, he was pretty supportive of Jackson when he was talking about his experience with hearing Yugyeom’s voice.

Then again, Jackson and Mark are best friends.

Well, he asked for his help and Mark deserves to know the truth. Or, at least, an explanation to this madness.

Jaebeom licks his lips, preparing himself to divulge everything to his hyung. To the person who’s always willing to help his friends no matter the circumstance.

“Two weeks after Yugyeom’s funeral,” he pauses as the words leave a bad taste in his mouth. “I went to visit Jinyoung.”

Mark raises an eyebrow. “Jinyoung wouldn’t let anyone in… why would he…”

Jaebeom scratches his cheek absentmindedly. “I knew the code to his house. When you guys kept saying that you couldn’t get to him, I essentially broke into his apartment.”

“And… you did it yourself?”

Mark doesn’t sound like he’s judging him but he does sound slightly disappointed and he doesn’t know if he likes that more.

“I… I did. Bambam and Youngjae knew about it because I was at their place before I went to Jinyoung’s. They wanted to come with but I said it would be better if we talked by ourselves,” he replies.

Mark turns to him then, his brow furrowed in what looks to be frustration.

“I understand not wanting to get the younger ones involved but… why didn’t you tell me?” His voice barely containing the undertone of hurt behind it before he continues, “Or, you know, Jackson?”

Jaebeom bites his lip, unable to look the older man in the eye. He keeps his gaze on the handbrake in between their seats, as he shakes his head.

“Jinyoung is my responsibility, he’s my best friend. I thought that if none of you could get to him maybe I could.” He meets Mark’s gaze, keeping the guilt he feels at bay. “I wanted to try, I wanted to…”

He pauses, clenching his fist as if he’s trying to force the words out of his mouth. Jaebeom’s never shared this thought to anyone… but this is Mark. He reminds himself that this man is older than him, that he can always rely on him. Mark is his hyung.

“I wanted to try and atone. I wanted to apologize to Yugyeom,” he whispers, his eyes immediately dropping to his lap.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Jaebeom…”

Jaebeom takes a deep breath, takes another, and unclenches his hands, instinctively noting the red crescents that have formed in the middle of his palm.

“It’s… I couldn’t save Yugyeom, no one could. So, I thought, maybe I could help Jinyoung. Maybe if I could get through to him, I could face Yugyeom head on and tell him that I helped the person he loved.” He smiles, not really knowing why he was doing so. “That I could somehow apologize for losing Yugyeom by saving Jinyoung, you know?”

He tries to look at the older man in the eyes but he couldn’t bring to lift his head. These were his thoughts, Jaebeom never shared them to anyone because he was… actually, he didn’t know why he just kept it inside. He never even thought that he could admit to himself but here he is, spilling his emotions unto Mark.

Mark doesn’t say anything but he keeps his hand on his shoulder so he continues.

“I went there and he was… researching something? I don’t know. There were papers everywhere, scrawls on the wall, it kind of looked like something you see from conspiracy nuts in movies.”

Jaebeom closes his eyes, trying to recall everything he saw that day.

“Jinyoung was in front of a table. I ignored the mess and I went to him. He was muttering something, but it was so soft that I couldn’t make out what he was saying. When I called out to him, he looked at me and… he looked like shit. There were bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, it seemed like he didn’t shower at all and was a lot thinner too. He was a wreck.”

He bit his lip, trying to keep himself composed. “I reached out to him, hyung. I told him to stop, to just please take care of himself. He just… his eyes was so blank it was honestly frightening. Then I said that Yugyeom wouldn’t want to see him like this and he… it seemed to break him out of whatever stupor he was and he told me, ‘I have to save him.’”

“What?” Mark suddenly interrupts, Jaebeom nods.

“I told him it was impossible, that there was nothing to be done, that everyone was worried but he just… he told me to leave, he was angry and upset and he yelled at me to go away. I didn’t want to but I just… I gave up. I shouldn’t have I know that but hyung Jinyoung was—”

Mark cradles his head forward and hugs him, albeit a little awkwardly since there was the handbrake in between them and Mark still wore his seatbelt.

“You don’t have to explain to me Jaebeom-ah,” he says, “I understand, it’s okay.”

Jaebeom knew it wasn’t. He should’ve done something, anything but leave but in the end, he did.

“After that whole thing, I kept calling and texting him and just like everyone else I was snubbed. I even went to his house again but he changed his house code. I didn’t get to talk to him after that.”

Mark was absentmindedly playing with his hair while his other hand rubbed circles on his back, it was a lot like what he was doing when he was comforting Jackson. Generally, Jaebeom didn’t like people touching him but he has to admit that it feels nice to not be the one to do the reassuring for once. He knew he insisted on the “leader” position among his friends himself but he knew he needed support from other people now and again, something he could never really admit to himself.

The older man still hasn’t said anything but he can feel his friend’s support all the same. Mark was never a talkative person to begin with. Jaebeom realizes he has to continue with his point or else they might just end up like this for hours. He moves to separate himself from Mark, the older man letting him go easily.

“When I called you guys to my place yesterday, I also sent a text to Jinyoung,” he says, and immediately he notices the shift in the older man’s attention.

“I wanted him to know what was happening, I didn’t want him out of the loop.”

Jaebeom fishes for his phone and he opens the message that he got from Jinyoung. He hands it to Mark, who then reads it.

“I didn’t notice his text for a while because of the whole thing with Jackson and Bambam but… that,” he says pointing to the phone. “That was the reason I couldn’t go to work.”

Jaebeom looks at Mark’s expression, silently trying to study his reaction. He didn’t give anything away, aside from the furrow in between the older man’s brows, his expression remained the same. Passive, but open-minded.

“…you think this is the real Yugyeom?” Mark asks carefully.

He nods. “Jinyoung never texts like that, plus there’s the name on the bottom.”

Mark nibbles on his bottom lip in thought.

“Also, he would never do something like this as a prank, he wouldn’t shit on Yugyeom’s memory like that,” Jaebeom adds.

“No, he wouldn’t.”

Mark stares at the message, scrolls up and then down. He thinks he knows what the older man is doing, it was the same thing he did when he read it. He wanted to make sure that it was real, that it wasn’t just some kind of figment of the imagination. Jaebeom couldn’t believe the first time he saw it too.

“So…” Mark tapers off, handing the phone back to Jaebeom.

Jaebeom stares at the message as well. It looked the same, nothing had changed at all and now Mark has seen it. It means it’s not a figment of his imagination.

Maybe there’s something in this madness.

Maybe Jaebeom’s reality isn’t as messed up as he thought it was.

“When you left the apartment, my last conversation with Jinyoung popped into my head. Then I started to think that Jackson’s panic was valid, that my texts were real. Maybe… maybe Jinyoung saved him after all.”

Mark looks off into the distance, digesting the words that he had said. He knows how impossible it sounds, they live on Earth. They exist in the real world. There was no way anyone could revive the dead, it was impossible and yet…

Jackson heard his voice and Jaebeom gets a text under his name in the span of one day, and it was the same number they contacted. They both reached out to Jinyoung and have Yugyeom reply to them. It was suspicious.

“What’s your plan?” Mark asks, shifting the gear on neutral from park.

“I wanted to go to his place, break in if I have to, and get answers. If… if this isn’t Yugyeom and it’s just him being delusional, talking and texting like Yugyeom, then he needs our help but if there’s even a chance…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, he doesn’t need to.

“Hmmm… okay,” Mark says.

Jaebeom turns to the other man as he’s signaling the car and drives away from the curb and into traffic.

“Wait, just okay?” he asks.

Mark nods. “Yeah, okay.”

“You don’t want more details or… or something?”

Mark spares him a glance before shaking his head. “The text is right there. You have actual physical evidence that makes you believe Yugyeom is alive… or Jinyoung is going insane.”

“Oh,” Jaebeom doesn’t know what else to say.

It seems that Mark doesn’t mind either way as he silently drives away from Jaebeom’s apartment.

 

\---

****

**_You killed him. Bring him back! Bring my son back you—_ **

“…-nyoung? Jinyoungie… hey, wake up.”

Jinyoung opens his eyes and he sees Yugyeom staring back at him. He looks worried, brows furrowed and his lips pursed.

He’s alive.

“Yu-Yugyeom?” he whispers, reaching out to touch his cheek.

The younger man smiles at him, the soft way he does like Jinyoung’s the only person in the world. He feels the same way, he knows Yugyeom is the only person he could ever love.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he tells him, “not unless you were expecting some other guy in your bed.”

Jinyoung snorts and shakes his head. “You’re… you’re the only one for me.”

Yugyeom’s cheeks turn a slight shade of red and he pushes Jinyoung away from him.

“Oh my god, that was cheesy.”

Jinyoung fights back and he manages to push Yugyeom down, straddling the young man by his waist. He can hear the soft giggles coming out of the other man as he playfully pushes him away though not enough to actually make Jinyoung lose balance.

“Hey, no fair! You actually work out! You have abs, I can’t beat you!” the younger man whines.

“You’re a giant with long limbs, I needed to have my own advantage. And anyway, I love your little belly,” he teases, pinching his waist, making Yugyeom yelp in surprise.

“Bully!”

Jinyoung sticks out his tongue, before immediately pulling it back into his mouth as Yugyeom tries to swipe at it.

“What are you, a cat?”

“If I’m a cat, that means you’re a furry.”

“That’s not—what?”

Yugyeom grins mischievously at the older man. “You’re so kinky Jinyoungie, meow.”

Jinyoung huffs. “You’re such a weirdo, I’m trying to make out with you here.”

The younger man chuckles before raising his hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Be glad I actually like you,” he jokes.

His eyes meet the man beneath him and he sees the shift from playful to fond in his look. Jinyoung was proud of himself that he could read him like a book. He loves that he sees the little nuances even by just the reflection of himself in his eyes.

“I am. I’m really grateful you like me.”

The taller man’s cheeks start flushing again and he jabs a finger to the other man’s chest.

“Geez, you really have to stop with the cheesiness.”

Instead of continuing the banter that would inevitably lead them to play around again, Jinyoung reaches out to touch Yugyeom’s face. The slope of his nose, the beauty mark under the eye, his still flushed cheeks, the smaller moles by his jaw, his soft lips, the trek of his fingers ending by the younger man’s neck.

Under his fingertips, he can feel it.

The beat of his pulse.

He really is alive.

And he’s here… with Jinyoung.

The younger man’s endearing expression turns to that of concern as he sits up and wipes at Jinyoung’s cheeks.

“J-Jinyoungie, hey,” he mutters softly, as if he were any louder, he would scare Jinyoung away.

That was a silly thought, he would never leave him no matter how frightened he would get. He could never leave Yugyeom. Never again.

Jinyoung smiles at him and shakes his head.

“I’m just… I’m so happy you’re here,” he says.

He pulls Yugyeom closer and kisses him once, twice, before the younger man understands what he wants and he locks his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, his own mouth chasing after Jinyoung.

Yugyeom pulls back just enough to whisper to the older man, “I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

“Don’t ever leave me again,” he replies so quickly, his voice so filled with emotion that he notices the younger man’s eyes turn glassy.

Yugyeom turns them around so that Jinyoung would be laying on the bed and he’s the one sitting on his lap. The younger man inches closer and kisses a tear-stained cheek, before pulling back and smiling at Jinyoung softly.

“I would never leave you, Jinyoung-ah. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AGONIZED FOR SO LONG ON HOW I WANTED TO REVEAL YUGYEOM but in the end I also really wanted to show you jingyeom because this IS a jingyeom fic and i couldn't help myself i'm sorry lmao,, if you could tell me what you thought about it I would be grateful.
> 
> Also, if you want you can follow me on twitter or ask me stuff on curiouscat, they're both @duncallmemaria :)))


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s this feeling in his gut, something he can’t explain that makes him feel like this is a bad idea.

Even as midnight is closer than twenty minutes, the streets of Seoul are still bustling with some activity. There are still a good number of cars, though not enough to cause traffic. Jaebeom has taken to watching the lights and buildings go by as a Mark silently drives them to their location.

It was quiet, the silence only being broken by the radio that was softly chattering away. He thinks it’s on a station that was talking about horror stories but he had stopped listening after the radio host’s first sentence.

The drive took less than thirty minutes to get to Jinyoung’s apartment complex, the decreased traffic immensely aiding in what would have been an almost hour drive. Mark parks the car in a lot not too far from the actual building.

Jaebeom thinks about the hassle of not having a carpark on his best friend’s apartment but he immediately remembers the younger man never needing a car to take him anywhere in the first place. The laboratory he worked in was a walking distance—he wonders if he’s still employed there—and the subway station is also not very far. Yugyeom always rode the trains to get to his apartment, it didn’t matter that it took him three stops to get there.

He thinks of how much time Yugyeom must have spent on the subway just to have an hour or two of Jinyoung’s time before the older man tells him to go home. It was subtle ~~not really~~ , but he always showed Jinyoung how much he meant to him. Even if all the memories Jaebeom had of them together was them mostly teasing and pushing and hitting each other, everyone could see how important they were to one another.

How much they truly loved each other.

Without him even noticing, both Mark and Jaebeom are standing in front of the apartment complex. Mark walked up to the doors and strode inside, he follows the older without another word.

As the elevator rises, Jaebeom’s stomach rises with it. There’s this feeling in his gut, something he can’t explain that makes him feel like this is a bad idea. Mark must have noticed his distress as he rubs his back as a way to silently comfort him.

“We’ll be there soon,” he says.

The elevator doors open and they come upon Jinyoung’s door. The same number is still attached, the small green welcome mat is still on the doorstep, and he also sees the same scratch that was left there when they all drank at his place and Jackson’s car keys scraped the door.

Mark looks at him, his eyes conveying that he’ll wait if he’s not sure of himself. His own way of comfort, just the like the big brother that he is. He’s also not offering to do it, also his own way of making Jaebeom take charge.

He did take the _leader_ position in their friend group after all…

Jaebeom takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

Thirty-seconds have passed and there was no response.

He knocks on the door again.

“Jinyoung-ah,” he says, “Open up.”

A full minute has gone and there was still no response.

“Jinyoung!” Mark yells, “We know you’re in there, please let us in!”

Jaebeom doesn’t stop knocking. It doesn’t matter if they’ll disturb the neighbors, nothing matters except for them to get answers. He has to, for his sanity. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to relax until he understands, until he sees Jinyoung in the flesh.

After what seemed to be five minutes of him knocking and Mark calling out his name, the door next to Jinyoung’s opens. A young woman comes out, Jaebeom vaguely recalls her as Jinyoung’s longtime neighbor. He remembers her helping him and Jackson when they helped him move in this very apartment, though he can’t remember her name. She looks like she just woke up. She’s wearing what looks like pajamas, her black hair in a messy tie and her square glasses slightly askew.

“Hello,” she grumbles—voice gravelly from having just awakened, “Can you guys keep it down? It’s the middle of the night and I have work in the morning.”

He and Mark bow in apology.

“I’m sorry… it’s just…”

“It’s an emergency,” Mark interjects, “One of our friends got sent to the hospital and Jinyoung hasn’t been answering his phone.”

Jaebeom is vaguely impressed by how smoothly the lie came out the older man and wonders if it had been ready to come out of his lips at any moment.

“Jinyoung..?” Her eyes look up, squinting at the flickering light in the hallway. “O-oh! Jinyoung, do you mean Park Jinyoung-ssi? The scientist?”

Jaebeom and Mark both nod.

“A-ah… well, last I heard of him he moved out,” she says.

Jaebeom’s stills. They didn’t know about this at all… while it’s true that Jinyoung hasn’t spoken to them in two months he didn’t think that the younger man would move out without at least telling them where he was going.

“Oh… we didn’t know,” Mark says, “Do you know when he moved out?”

She shrugs. “I heard about it last week but it could’ve happened earlier, he and I don’t really talk. If anything, it was his brother that I chatted with more. He’s a nice kid.”

Jinyoung didn’t have a brother. They all knew he had two older sisters.

“H-his brother?” Jaebeom asks.

The woman crosses her arms and nods. “Yeah, I think his name was Yugyeom. He always came by. I always saw him when I got back from work. He was a really sweet boy, he even gave me muffins once.”

Jaebeom couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Yugyeom had always been a caring and respectful person, he must have seen her a lot for him to splurge his money on buying her muffins.

“He w—he is,” he says.

She hums. “Yeah… anyway, I’m sorry but Jinyoung-ssi doesn’t live here anymore.”

Mark nods. “Thank you for the information. We’re sorry again for disturbing you.”

She waves a hand, her expression a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, “I’ve been in similar situations. If you’re truly worried about your friend, maybe contact the landlord. He might have some information about him.”

She turns, tells them goodbye and walks into her own apartment.

As soon as her door clicks, both men release a sigh. Jaebeom slumps on the door, drops until he's sitting on the mat, and stares at Mark’s standing form in front of him.

“I can’t believe he moved,” Mark mumbles.

Jaebeom fiddles with the welcome mat, lifting one corner with his fingers.

“We came all this way for nothing,” he says.

Mark gives him a disapproving look, before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Why wouldn’t he tell us?” Mark asks.

He shrugs. “He hasn’t talked to us in two months. No one could get to him, I fucked up when he let me and… I don’t know.”

He couldn't really believe it himself, for Jinyoung to just disappear like that. It's not like him. But then he's changed so much that maybe he'd be willing to just cut them all off. He wished he was wrong about that...

There was nothing they could do now, not until they find where Jinyoung is currently staying. He hopes it's a safe area. He just hopes his friend is okay.

The older man stares at him for a while before he grabs his arms and hauls him upright in a surprising show of strength for someone slighter and shorter than him.

“Try his code,” he says.

“What?”

Mark points to the keypad on the door. “His door code, try it.”

Jaebeom turns to him with a scandalized expression. “We’re breaking and entering now!” he whisper-shouts.

“You’re the one who said you’d break in if you have to, so I’m telling you to do it,” Mark replies coolly.

“But he changed it the last time I was here, it wouldn’t work anyway,” he retorts.

Mark shrugs. “Still, just try it.”

He sighs. He knows he said it but it didn’t mean he was comfortable with breaking into his apartment. This isn’t even Jinyoung’s place anymore, the woman—he still can’t remember her name—told them he moved. It's probably empty and waiting for a new owner. He doesn’t understand the point of trying to open a door with a code that he knows wouldn’t—

“Oh my god,” he whispers as he sees the green light indicating it was the right combination, “it unlocked.”

Mark doesn’t seem fazed at all and turns the handle, waltzing inside the house.

Jaebeom is surprised.

How did that even work?

It shouldn’t have worked at all… Jinyoung’s apartment door had a different pin when he came back a second time. It doesn’t make sense, why would his old code work? Why would Jinyoung re-change his code to the old one?

“JB…” Mark’s voice breaks him out of his stupor. He looks and sees him staring back at him, a hand gesturing him inside. “Stop gawking and get in.”

He does, softly closing the door behind him.

Mark takes out his phone and turns on the built-in flashlight, removing his shoes as he steps into the all-too-familiar living space.

Jaebeom looks around with what little light there is in the place and sees an empty umbrella rack and a closed shoe closet. Out of sheer curiosity, he peers inside the closet and sees shoes… shoes that he’s pretty sure Jinyoung owns. There are also a few pairs of sneakers that look slightly smaller than the other shoes and doesn't really fit with the style of the other shoes.

Huh.

Either the girl (or the landlord by extension) was lying or the person who lives here has similar tastes in shoes with Jinyoung.

…the person who lives here…

“Oh my god,” he softly whispers, eyes widening as the thought dawns on him.

They could very well be breaking-in someone else’s place.

“Jaebeom-ah,” Mark calls, “Come here and help me.”

He hastily removes his shoes and quietly runs after his hyung, who’s sifting through mail on the coffee table by the couch.

“Mark!” he whispers, grabbing the other man’s arm. “This is bad, what if this someone else’s place? We have to leave. This is was a stupid idea, we might even get arrested! Hyung, are you even—”

The older man reaches out and covers Jaebeom’s mouth, effectively quieting him. Once Jaebeom’s breathing had returned to normal, he removes his hand and picks up a white envelope, showing him the back portion where a name is written.

**TO: Park Jinyoung**

Mark then points the flashlight at one of the walls and Jaebeom sees a cluster of hanging picture frames, all of them he’s seen before. One has Jinyoung’s parents and him during his college graduation, another is a picture of him as a child with his sister, the one next to that is a picture of all seven of them at some restaurant a few years ago, and the last one… he has never seen the last one before. It’s a picture of Yugyeom laughing as Jinyoung kisses his cheek.

…huh.

 

 

\----

 

 

Jinyoung was typing away at something, Yugyeom couldn’t really see from where he’s perched on the pristine white counters he was sharing with various scientific equipment he couldn’t hope to name. He was never the smart kid, it’s partly the reason why he decided to pursue dancing.

It was late at night, probably past midnight. Yugyeom wanted to go home but Jinyoung said he had to stay late at work and he honestly didn’t want to stay in the apartment alone so he came with him.

Jinyoung said it was okay for him to come, so he jumped at the chance of getting to leave the apartment.

The trek to the facility was a little stressful since Jinyoung insisted he wore a hoodie, sunglasses and a face mask like those idols on TV when they try to blend in with society. Yugyeom told him it was dark out and the hoodie would be just fine on its own but Jinyoung silenced him with a firm kiss and a soft, “Please, Gyeomie,” that Yugyeom eventually just nods and pulls up the hood of the dark blue hoodie, holding Jinyoung’s hand as they leave his home together.

When they get there, the receptionist greets them warmly that Yugyeom couldn't help but smile back at her—in hindsight, she probably didn't see him return her expression since his face was so covered. Jinyoung gives her a piece of paper that for some reason surprises her when she read its contents. Regardless, she nods at the both of them and tells them to continue on. He wanted to ask what that was about but it didn’t seem like something he should know.

If he really thinks about it, this is his first time in Jinyoung’s office. It isn’t heavily decorated, some potted plants here and there, behind him is a large painting of a single yellow dandelion—he doesn’t want to overanalyze but he hopes that the flower reminds Jinyoung of him. The blinds are dark brown, resembling wood, and it contrasts the stark white walls and equally white tiles.

It is also very clean, but he kind of expected it from the other man. Jinyoung likes for everything to be clean, everything to be spotless.

His hand rests on his chest, rubbing the scar hidden underneath the hoodie.

He hasn’t been doing much of anything since they got here. Yugyeom had fiddled with some of the apparatuses that were strewn about the area but quickly grew bored of them. He tried pestering Jinyoung but all it got him was a swift kick in the shin and a kiss on the cheek, telling him to behave and that he’ll be done soon. Now, he’s just staring at his boyfriend (boyfriend, it still seems so surreal that even the thought brings color to his cheeks) as he continues typing things in his office computer.

Yugyeom wishes he brought Jinyoung’s phone with him.

His phone… he wonders if Jaebeom has replied to his message yet.

He wonders if Jackson is okay now… he wonders how they all are.

“Jinyoungie,” he says, his voice might have expressed an emotion that he troubled the other man as he swiftly turns to him and walks over to where he’s sitting.

Jinyoung runs his hands through his hair and stops at his neck, his thumbs softly caressing his jaw.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyes seemingly searching for problems, brows creasing in worry.

He shakes his head, as much as he can with Jinyoung holding onto him. “I just… I’m worried about Jackson-hyung.”

This seems to surprise him. “Jackson? Why are you worried about him?”

“Jaebeom-hyung’s text. He said that something happened to Jackson, when I texted him back to ask what happened, he didn’t reply.”

His eyes immediately widened at what he said. He wasn’t supposed to tell Jinyoung he replied back. He knows he’s not supposed to, not now at least. Yugyeom feels Jinyoung’s eyes on him as soon as the other man understood what he said.

“Jaebeom-hyung… texted?” he asks.

Yugyeom nods.

“D-do you have a phone?” Jinyoung asks.

He shakes his head. “I… he texted you. I answered using your phone.”

“And you said he didn’t reply, right?”

He nods.

Jinyoung breathes a sigh of relief, it breaks Yugyeom’s heart a little that he seems so comforted that Jaebeom didn’t text him back.

“I’m glad he didn’t call you,” Jinyoung says, “That would’ve been a problem.”

Yugyeom vehemently tries to remove the memory of answering Jackson when he called Jinyoung’s phone.

Jinyoung looks into his eyes and he sees the panic set into them, which leads to the older man lowering his head and kissing his temple.

“Don’t look so scared,” he whispers to Yugyeom, “I’m not mad at you.”

It’s the younger man’s turn to looks surprised.

“You’re not?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. He moves just a little closer so that the lower half of his body is slotted in between Yugyeom’s legs, and he wraps his arms around his waist. He looks into the younger man’s eyes, projecting as much sincerity as he can.

“I understand wanting to talk to everyone. They’re still our friends, you’re allowed to miss them and worry about them,” he says, “I promise I’ll do everything I can to fix everything so that you can talk to them again… but it’s going to take a while. Your situation is weird—”

Jinyoung doesn’t get to finish his explanation as Yugyeom interjects:

“It’s because people think I’m dead, right?”

The older man shakes his head. He pulls the Yugyeom a little closer, the younger man tucking his head in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck.

“No,” he says, “it’s because you are dead, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People seemed to like/not mind the split between POVs in the last chapter I wrote, so I did it again! We're getting into the mystery now everyone, I hope you're as excited about it as I am! Yeehaw! :D
> 
> As usual, comments/constructive criticism/corrections are very much appreciated!


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